More “How to Act Indonesian Videos”!

 

I can’t get enough of these. Spot on!

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I can have the mango!

So, in the last month, we have discovered some new fruit flavors that we are integrating into our diet. One of these that I covet like youth and beauty is the Mango. I have been a mango observer most of my life. Every so often, I find that I’ll eat the mango and sticky rice for a Thai dessert. I didn’t know I was going to get Mango blindsided once here. Its been a bloodbath. <<I CAN HAVE THE MANGO!>>
Locally, there are 16 cultivars of the simple Mangga (as it is locally known in Indonesian), ranging from the Manis (super sweet) to the wonderful Ataulfo, the yellow “fiber free” (you have no idea how important this is until you have them a staple of your diet) and highly flavorful one, that. Mango season is three times a year and a month at a time, so when it comes on, you gotta get in on that. I can get them for about $.50 each, I can eat about two a day, but the most important thing is learning to cut them, else you are not fully enjoying the experience. But once in the know, everything changes.
Here’s your protip, given to me by a real professional: Look at it from the stem side. Imagine there is a seed in the middle there, and the shape of the fruit is oriented around it (of course). The seed is one little orb, a small disc of frustration. Place two cuts on the mangos’ skinnier sides to extract the most edible bits and place these off to the side. Secretly, in the dark recess of the kitchen, do a vampire routine and eat around the seed, so as to get as much of the tender flesh as you can to yourself, making as little noise as possible as you don’t need the attention to your vulgar act. Clean yourself up, you filthy animal…
Take the cut sides, cup the skin side in your hand and then put in some grids with a butter knife through the flesh but not through the skin, then just invert this bitch, literally turning it inside out and you have this professional looking execution like so:
I eat it right off the skin. – Seth

Wanna know a secret?

While I’m sitting at my desk in my homeroom, working on my powerpoint for Academic English grade 11 while another teacher is teaching grade 10B in some other subject, I’m jamming to AWOLNATION. 

There’s a reason why I’m listening to music; in order to stay focused and not zone out or listen to the lecture.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret… listening to this kind of music feels incredibly empowering. The beat is quick, the voice is strong and commanding, the lyrics forceful and demanding. Everything that this place is not.

Sorry to say it. But, I need the balance. I’ve heard of expats needing to watch Southpark or some other obscene American media at night just so they don’t lose their mind being so culturally sensitive and nice all the time.

And now you know what I’m listening to as I kindly smile to you from across the room. Ding!